Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Long Pending List Of All Lists To Be Destroyed By the Last One Standing

1. The profile and ‘likes’ of the dead employee who left a cryptic cough on the voice recorder.
2. The inconsequentialities of bus rides and dead flies (too lengthy, need to be re-worked).
3. Coordinates of a cancer cell north-west to the pouting cleavage, unnoticed, hidden under cotton fabric.
4. The recurring clichés of shadows, haunted dolls, funny bones and suicides (detailed dissertation to be submitted by H.L).
5. That wet, wet, wet, monsoon when we stopped drinking for better or worse or good.
6. The million identical voices asking us, in unison, to stop. (*Inserted in pencil* Stop what?)
7. Our precious oaths flung from the 11th floor.
8. Hearts classified as needing a lick of paint by the end of this year (P is assigned to sandpaper the rust off).
9. Strobe Effect in the found eye outside the seminary.
10. Things lost during the hunt for the eye’s origin. (blood, a key, a friendship).
11. The growing annoyance at the inability to create found footage horror. (step-by-step listing of each rants and complains).
12. The list of useless tapes recording countless hours of us moving about the house.
13. The list of lost tapes containing our disclosures and the strange buzz in the background.
14. List of times our heads did not close quickly.
15. The list of recitations to listen to while tearing up lists in the kitchens.
16. Hymns to sing while clawing one’s nerves out (cross check with the list of songs to write before dismantling the trapdoors)
17. The categories of various bumps on the floor (three do not fit into any known form)
18. Things sawed/plucked or gouged out from our bodies that we shall never bury but drown in marshes at night.
19. Things that we have left to gurgle at the brink of loneliness
20. List of mannequins that underwent a front lobe probe
21. List of precautions to be taken against these mannequins’ nightly visits (meditation, green tea and affirmative thinking) and prevent them from stealing our precious madnesses.
22. Things to think about when eyes go into suspended animation.
23. List of rituals to follow to turn oneself into a line at the back of a book, possibly the epilogue.
24. The notes on our discussion regarding the tiredness and triteness of adulthood, and ways to escape it.
25. The debate on the real or fictional Mr. N. Why did he show us his penis from behind the wall? Why does he hiss? Why does he still visit our dreams?
26. The list of spectacles that one cannot unsee once seen (the horror! the horror!)
27. List of reasons R has, which does not really prove that these events were a Folie à deux.
28. Minutes of the meeting regarding the incident that occurred in the churchyard 17 years ago. (part of the list of things we long to unsee, long to forget)
29. List of reactions recorded after noticing the odd twitches on the freshly painted walls.
30. Things we unconsciously thought of while dismembering the time portal.
31. The list of beauty remedies that involves sacrificing one of us.
32. List of houses where childhood overstayed its welcome.
33. List of simple techniques to help us forget what those digging fingers did to us at the procession many Septembers ago.
34. The screams and blinks observed coming from a white building.
35. List of lies we tell ourselves (to be updated on a regular basis).
36. Number of clouds we need to hold down and step on to reach the sky.
37. List of gods we raised, worshipped and sacrificed.
38. List of times we fed ourselves lumps of sugar and orchids to chock down and swallow the sobs.
39. The purgation of sleep we practiced by emitted shrill screams at regular intervals.
40. The list of aspects about our day to day activities that don’t add up to the universal scheme of things.
41. The lost records of our failed austerity experiment.
42. List of sins we forgot to include in our confessions.
43. List of things we felt guilty about although they were not sins.
44. The list of self-inflicted punishments that resulted in the loss of a hallucination and the abrupt disappearance of our dear friend.
45. The number of times we became untranslatable to ourselves.
46. The odours of things yet to arrive, but we wait for with baited breath.
47. Number of shoe flowers and butterflies we secretly ate to become non-human.
48. The lost pages found at the bottom of T’s cupboard that tells the secrets of travelling from billboard to billboard.
49. Unmoving things to hold on to while the stars start to tilt.
50. Methods to achieve that resigned calm before ingesting corrosive substances and unicorn tears.
51. The list of singular brick corners existing all by themselves and how to hide in them when the time comes.
52. Marrows of things we will never understand, tied around a broken tile and flung into a sea.
53. List of the possible places to hide our suicide notes

                                       - Jeena Mary Chacko

Picture: Still from the movie Innocence (2004) by Lucile Hadžihalilović

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